(Adapted from Positive Intelligence™)
(#10 in a series of 10)
Try as hard and as much as you can, you don’t seem to get to where you want to go, figuratively. Your colleague, your sibling, your partner or other close one always seems to get the breaks that you so deeply deserve.
The “It’s not fair” thought is rarely out of your mind. You deserve so much more and better.
To gain clarity into our Saboteurs, we at spotlighting the 10th of the 10 Saboteurs which clutter our brains with negative self-talk and fill us with self-doubt, the inner critic and overall, stymie our productivity, relationships and overall wellbeing.
The bright light/bottom line is that with guidance and practice, we can mitigate these destructive forces that we all have, inside our brains to improve our quality of life, relationships and overall wellbeing.
The Victim thought pattern displays emotional and temperamental to gain attention and affection. An extreme focus on internal feelings, particularly painful ones. Martyr streak.
If criticized or misunderstood, tend to withdraw, pout, and sulk.
Repressed rage results in depression, apathy, and constant fatigue.
Seeks attention by having emotional problems, or being temperamental and sullen.
“No one understands me”.
“Terrible things always happen to me”.
“I wish someone would rescue me from this dreary mess”.
Tends to brood over negative feelings for a long time.
Feel alone and lonely, even when I’m around people I am close to.
Envy and negative comparisons.
Maybe this way I get some of the love and attention that I deserve.
Sadness is a noble and sophisticated thing that shows exceptional depth, insight, and sensitivity.
Impact on Self and Others
Vitality wasted through focus on internal processing and brooding.
Backfires by pushing people away.
Others feel frustrated or helpless that they can’t put more than a temporary BandAid on the Victim’s pain.
Original Survival Function
The Victim is sometimes associated with a childhood experience of not feeling seen and accepted, coming to believe that something is especially wrong with you.
The Victim is a strategy to squeeze out some affection from those who would otherwise not be paying attention.
The positive intelligence operating system informs us that The Victim is a liar and often engages in self-defeating behavior and thoughts.
Does this sound like you? Do The Victim’s struggles sound like yours? There IS a way to turn down the volume on The Victim’s saboteur voices inside your head. It’s a foundation of our Mental Fitness Bootcamp.
Want to learn more? DM for more info.
NEXT UP: The Sage Perspective and Powers.