(Adapted from Positive Intelligence™)
(#9 in a series of 10)
Do you feel you can’t rest until your to-do list is done to perfection?
Do you stand longingly in the mirror wishing you saw something (or someone) different? What about those bags under your eyes or around your middle? (gasp)
Do you endlessly compare yourself to others whom you regard as more accomplished, prettier, more together?
These are all indicators of The Stickler Saboteur.
To gain clarity into our Saboteurs, we outline each of the 10 Saboteurs which clutter our brains with negative self-talk and fill us with self-doubt, the inner critic and overall, stymie our productivity, relationships and wellbeing.
The bright light/bottom line is that with guidance and practice, we can mitigate these destructive forces that we all have, inside our brains to improve our quality of life, relationships and overall wellbeing.
💡 The Stickler thought pattern is perfectionism and a need for order and organization taken too far.
The Stickler is…
Punctual, methodical, perfectionistic
Highly critical of self and others.
Strong need for self-control and self-restraint.
Right is right and wrong is wrong.
If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all.
I need to be more organized and methodical than others so things get done.
I hate mistakes.
Constant frustration and disappointment with self and others for not living up to ideal standards.
Anxious that others will mess up the order and balance I have created.
This is a personal obligation.
It is up to me to fix whatever mess I encounter.
Perfectionism is good, plus it makes me feel better about myself.
There is usually a clear right and clear wrong way to do things.
I know how things should be done and must do the right thing.
Impact on Self and Others
Causes rigidity and reduces flexibility in dealing with change and others’ different styles.
Is a source of ongoing anxiety and frustration.
Causes resentment, anxiety, self-doubt and resignation in others, who feel continually criticized and resign themselves that no matter how hard they work they will never please the Stickler.
Original Survival Function
💡 The Stickler offers a way of quieting the constant voice of self-judgment and fear of others’ judgments through trying to be perfect. Perfection brings a sense of temporary relief. Might have generated a sense of order in a chaotic family dynamic or earned acceptance and attention from emotionally distant or demanding parents by standing out as the unreproachable perfect kid.
💡 The positive intelligence operating system informs us that The Stickler is a liar and often engages in self-defeating behavior/ thoughts.
Does this sound like you? Do The Stickler’s struggles sound like yours? There IS a way to turn down the volume on the Stickler’ saboteur voices inside your head. It’s a foundation of our Mental Fitness Bootcamp.
Want to learn more? DM for more info.
NEXT UP: The Victim…we’ll explore how this Saboteur wreaks havoc in our lives.